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The only thing what you have to do to become a rock star is to write the hit song which will launch you into stardom.

Just write a song with lyrics dumb, shallow and unimaginative beyond belief, very samey to a lot of stuff out there already. Part of those lyrics should be sung by a tacky bimbo with no vocal talent whatsoever whose singing is so awful that it could be used as a harsh interrogation method on Guantanamo Bay. Add to that an annoying generic electronic beat full of synthesizers and auto-tune that make your ears want to bleed and cry. To promote the song you shoot a shocking music video with, among others, a kindergarten that explodes, potty-mouthed wanna-be gang members on the rampage through an affluent suburb, a banker that gets lynched by angry people who have been foreclosed, a centinarian masturbating herself with her cane, and lots of pointless CGI. And voilà, there is your hit song! ;)

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  • 2 weeks later...
THAT IS A BRILLIANT PLAN. I'll title my new hit single "Boobies and Booties"... "GURL YOU GOT DEM EARFQUAKE BOOBIES, GURL YOU GOT DEM PENDANT BOOBIES"... Billboard Top 40 here we come!

 

Haha! :lol:

 

You should be a record executive!

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Jarl Ragnar,

 

I heard you sing the song "Thank you for being awesome” and I got goose bumps. You are blessed with the voice of an angel! You also have a powerful range and one can hear the emotion in your voice when you sing. Chapeau!

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Thank you! The actual song is called "Distance (143 Miles)". The name of the album is called "Thank you for being awesome", because it was a single we made available for everyone to download for free when our record label page got to 300 likes. Thank you very much, I am incredibly flattered, haha.

 

I wrote that song about a long distance relationship that had to end because we couldn't handle the distance any longer. It was a painful experience, needless to say.

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  • 2 years later...

 

The only thing what you have to do to become a rock star is to write the hit song which will launch you into stardom.

Just write a song with lyrics dumb, shallow and unimaginative beyond belief, very samey to a lot of stuff out there already. Part of those lyrics should be sung by a tacky bimbo with no vocal talent whatsoever whose singing is so awful that it could be used as a harsh interrogation method on Guantanamo Bay. Add to that an annoying generic electronic beat full of synthesizers and auto-tune that make your ears want to bleed and cry. To promote the song you shoot a shocking music video with, among others, a kindergarten that explodes, potty-mouthed wanna-be gang members on the rampage through an affluent suburb, a banker that gets lynched by angry people who have been foreclosed, a centinarian masturbating herself with her cane, and lots of pointless CGI. And voilà, there is your hit song! ;)

 

Jarl Ragnar,

 

This guy has followed Lady Astrid's advice. ;)

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