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Daniel

Nye Tiden: "Bowing to the Murderer!?"

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Friends,

 

I have been on this island for a very long time, but it already feels as if you know many of the people here, especially through the media. One of this island's most peculiar characters is the retired school mechanics teacher, Kormak Ildejer. I've only met him once, but I have to say that the meeting with Mr Ildejer had an impact on not only my welbeing but also of the welbeings of the members of Lagthinget. Mr Ildejer spoke for forty-five minutes, non-stop, about building an airport near Idunnergab, you know, the place where they just found a penguin! (In his defence, he proposed the airport before Harald the Penguin was discovered.)

 

Now, reading my morning paper, I find an article that should interest you, written by no other than Mr Ildejer. It's about a member of the Imperial house of Ettlingar Freyu. Unusually, the editorial teams replied at once to the article.

 

"Bowing to the Murdurer!?"

By Kormak Ildejer from Town.

 

Dear Editor: May I introduce you to this man, Hallbjörn Haraldsson? I’m sure that for even you, this name doesn’t even stand out. For what it’s worth, it could have been Humlebækker even! If the “ö” in the name didn’t so tacitly give away the dialect spoken by this man, that is...

 

But this man is a bloody Humlebækker! Or so the imperial house’s chief secretary Wenche Gulbrandsdottir tries to tell us! Or is it more sinister than so?

 

In fact, the most recent leak from the little-known Office of Protocols in Tårbæk actually places this man within the Humlebæk government even above our jarl!

 

Still don’t recognize the name, Mr Editor? Well I’ll tell ya – it’s the King’s freaking son for crying out loud! Perhaps this version of the man’s name would do: His Most Imperial and Most Royal Highness Hallbjörn Haraldsson of the House of Ettlingar Freyu, the Imperial Chieftain of Humlebæk Island, Storjarl of Stormark and Lord Imperial on All Continents.

 

Now, this man has never ever set his foot on this Island. Yet he is considered a Humlebækker by this very title! What has he done for the Island? And more importantly, what has he done for the High Realm and for the World?

 

In one of the few biographies actually ever published, whether official or unofficial, we can find in a biography from the Law Court of Last Resort near the Thingvellir in Haraldsborg that this young prince was in fact, before the High King acknowledged him, a mercenary! He killed others for money! Is that a prince or storjarl we want?

 

I made some more research into what this young man actually has said in official capacity or inrecorded unofficial capacity. Frankly, he doesn’t much at all, and when he does speak, the five or so times he has done it, there has been no dialogue but rather one monotonous sentence for each occasion!

 

At one time, and I’m not joking, Hallbjörn said when speaking to the former kronjarl Thorfinn, “You belong to the ancients ... of Stormark”! I wouldn’t be surprised if his dad put a gag order on him!

 

And this laddie hasn’t even ever travelled to this island. It’s frankly a big joke that this cold-blooded murdurer can be called a royal and chieftain of this beautiful island of ours! But on the other hand, perhaps there are more sinister motives for Hallbjörn’s choice of Humlebæk – he bears a lot of similarity to another murduring islander – namely Torkel the King!

 

K. I.

 

Eek! That was a bit harsh, wasn't it? Here comes the reply from the editorial team:

DIRECT REPLY

Jond Erlander, editor-in-chief

 

My dear Mr Ildejer

 

Thank you, as always, for sending in commentaries to Nye Tiden. Throughout the years you have been an avid contributor to the paper’s pages on debate. I don’t think we ever had, in this paper’s history, a full week without at least two contributions made by yourself.

 

Having said that, I would like to caution you from expanding on that which you have written here to Nye Tiden. While this paper holds the freedom of speech high above many other rights in Stormark, there also laws applicable on defamation.

 

While I agree with you that Storjarl Hallbjörn has not shown up much in the public sphere of Stormark or in this Island, there may be certain anticipatory reasons for such behaviour. If you had fully read the biography mentioned by you on Storjarl Hallbjörn you would, if having a compassionate mind, find that the lives of the two children of Harald the High King and the life of the children’s mother are far from ideal or perfect. You would also find that the children grew up in disastrous conditions. It is not unthinkable that the horrendous upbringing of the storjarlish children hurt the children considerably, forcing them to do do jobs as mercenaries and smugglers as the only path to survival.

 

Your letter, however, Mr Ildejer, stirs many questions among the editorial staff and other employees of Nye Tiden. That you evoked questions in us is a reason for us taking in your letter, despite our paper’s liability for defamation should Storjarl Hallbjörn choose to sue Nye Tiden. The questions that we ask ourselves and each other here at the editorial take shape in the following forms:

 

1. What is an imperial chieftaincy, what does it really entail and what is its purpose?

 

2. Does a member of the ruling house, not far in line to the throne, have any commitments or responsibilities, whether of official, legal or moral kind, to behave responsibly and, if not more importantly, any commitments or responsibilities to actually take part or interest in the active governance of Stormark or of any of its divisions?

 

I shall leave those two questions open for debate here in the paper for any other reader to comment on.

 

J. E.

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